realization

i am fat.

well, not exactly "fat" per say, but definitely in possession of more womanly curves,
as you could call them.

i call them ugly and gross, among other things.

i eat like a pig and i don't work out as much as i should.

i came to this realization as i was trying on this adorable size 0 theory skirt that i bought last year to see what i should wear with it to school tomorrow. guess who couldn't button it?
this wouldn't be so traumatic if the skirt had been a little tight last year, but last year, a mere 10 months ago, it hung loosely around my hips!! it now clenches tightly around my hips/muffin top. it is hideous.

this discovery prompted me to try on all of my khaki.
the majority of my pants don't fit and there was one pair i couldn't pull up past my thighs.
so i tried on the rest of my skirts. my "fat skirts" are my new "skinny" skirts.

ballsack.

i guess i never really noticed the weight gain, which i assume to be from this past summer, because i spent every day in either running shorts, a dress, or dance clothes. and dance clothes are surprisingly forgiving. which sucks because you can't tell if you're getting fat or not. and they're even more forgiving when you aren't dancing in front of a mirror.

ugh. i don't like this. last year, i was so pretty and skinny!! i weighed 87 pounds. i shudder at what i weigh now.

and yes, i realize that 87 pounds may not sound like much, but mind you that i am extremely short and my mother weighed 96 pounds when she got married.
right now, i probably weigh as much as my mom did when she had me (around 105 pounds). that is disgusting. i weigh as much as a pregnant lady.

tomorrow, i will chug water like it's going out of style, i will not eat any junk food or unnecessary snacks, and i will go running after school for at least 30 minutes.

if i don't go running, i will not wear eyeliner on wednesday.
or reapply eyeliner, more likely.

with love,
the fat-ass

*sniiiiifff*

as i write, i am relaxing in a state a little south of comfortable in a white wife beater, a sweater, and boxer shorts. i have a mug of tea next to me along with some sort of nasal spray. 

i got nothing on my list done today, save for my easy homework and making shopping plans with matt. i stayed inside, drank tea, ate soup, and watched Dirty Jobs reruns. 

tomorrow i will most likely have to drag myself out of bed, drink some tea, eat some oatmeal, and get cracking on my other homework. 

i will not be going to church or youth group or choir (yes, i am doing that), which is a huge disappointment. 

why? 

i am sick. 

i have a head cold. 

no, it's not h1n1, i've checked. i don't have body aches or a sudden fever. 

i am tired, i feel like i've had two pens jammed up my nose, and then beaten about the head with a 2x4. 

i am going to sleep. 

side note

i think i have found one of my long-lost friends on facebook. 

haley caffey (presley, you know her). 

but i don't know if it's my haley caffey. 

i mean, how weird would it be to be some random haley caffey in dallas and get a friend

request from this random chick in north carolina?

xtc?

no, silly. not that crappy band. i just felt bad putting the name of a drug on my blog. 

today was decent. well, more than decent. 

school was good, i killed at this dance to "i'm the one" by mary j. blige.

lunch was fun. 

i taught my friends this game where you say, "____, but not ____."

there's a pattern to which words can be used and you aren't supposed to tell the

others The Rule. and the object of the game is to figure out what the rule of the game is.

so i told it to my friend Waffles so we can piss everyone off on monday. :D

it's a great game. it's called, "odd, but not peculiar"

but i'd start out saying something like, 

"strawberry, but not banana." 

and then someone else would say something like,

"all, but not many."

and then someone would say something like, 

"grape, but not cherry."

"WRONG."

and then they'd be like "what the heck is wrong with that answer? is there a rule of some kind?"

wanna know the rule?

i'll tell you the rule.

ok. the first word in the pair has a double letter (like "strawberry").

but if you said something like, "jelly, but not peanut butter," you'd be wrong because both words have a double letter and that just can't happen. oh, and the words don't have to relate to each other.

it's great fun.

and la-di-da up to spanish. we had our first quiz thing. i only got one wrong (yay me) 

and i know now that matt is officially kick-ass. yesterday he and i had a huge convo about sunglasses (he has some dolces, i have kate spades, and we both have raybans.) and today

he said, "liz, i really like your tory's."

heck yes. not only did he properly identify the brand of flats that i was wearing, but he called them tory's. i think i've found a new best friend.

yep. so that was my day. 

madonna, but not britney.

hai thurr

wow. i've been in school almost a full week! 

already i'm exhausted. 

i have a ton of homework every night, and i usually get distracted by things like

facebook, makemebabies.com, and stuff like that...

but tonight i'm going to do this thing at church

and i won't get back until late, so i have to knock it out before 5:00. 

yeaa. 

beeteedubs, i went to youth group on sunday for like the first time in a few months. 

last time i went, one of the lawyers in our congregation came to talk to us. it turned out that it was this hypocritical asswipe who also happened to be my dad's divorce attorney. yippie. 

needless to say, i kinda freaked out and haven't been back ever since. 

until last sunday. 

so i signed up for this thing every wednesday and we go visit old people or something. i didn't really read the description but it'll look good on any recommendations i may need. 

so whoa. i may have the most eclectic volunteer list ever:

- volunteered at art show

- volunteered at the Texas Planned Parenthood meeting thing

- volunteered to visit old people

cool. paintings, planed parenthood and people. 

ahh yes! my spanish news of the day. 

yesterday, senora lang called on me to answer this question in spanish and, of course, i had no clue how to say it in spanish. so i simply apologized for not speaking spanish and proceeded to answer the question in french. 

the french teacher laughed (she was in the back of the room). 

i doubt senora will call on me anytime soon. ;D

soo that's what's up avec moi. 

yeahh. 

happy of the day: i busted out "mad about you" before dance class and ms. owens liked it. 

wow.

i slept really late today, so i'm feeling very good.

currently i am watching the most random/crappy movie i've ever seen on tv. 

i have no clue what it is, but three people are battling mummies and they randomly kill people 

and blow up stuff and there is this random guy running about. also it has a really shitty script. 

"death... is only the beginning." followed by "gotta go!"

wow. that is profound. 

i am going to not watch this anymore. it's not even funny bad. it's just bad.

yippie

so it's official. i am not going to hate spanish as much as i thought i would. 

i have a new friend. his name is matt. matt is a freshman and he sits beside me and he honestly reminds me of presley. he commented on my awesome coloring skills (i decorated my binder with a picture of hello kitty in a sombrero. it's from my coloring book.) and he liked that i call my notebook my fiesta notebook. 

we also started learning the alphabet (el alfabeto or something). it was funish. 

i took chase with me to the durham bulls game tonight. it was great. i introduced him to TFLN which he thinks is much better than FML now. he's right. 

and then i came home and found this:

Today, My girlfriend and I were discussing how I am happy all the time and she is always complaining about something. Later on I noticed that she is an avid FML reader and I am an avid MLIA reader. Then it all came together. MLIA 

heck yes.

i feel like i have become an MLIAer. 

- i have built a fort

- i don't read FML

- i have a cat

- i have told random people that "my life is average" and "i love you."

- i bond with strangers

- i have had a duel with light sabers in target

the only thing i have left to do is yell "avada kedavra!" at someone. 

i realized today in chemistry that i haven't been sticking with my "i will not say hate" thing and my happy of the day. 

so tomorrow i will restart the "i don't say hate" thing.

and little bit of happy: i found really pretty pictures of me dancing. i may post them on facebook.