hmpf

big set back today.

i slept through two alarms and flipped the fuck out.

i don't do well in situations like that. so i took a shower and calmed down.

and then i flipped out about my hair. i realized that i don't like it too much with the bangs and all. it's hard to take care of and i wanted to grow it out. 

stupid, stupid me. i shouldn't make big decisions when i'm tired and not on my meds. 

seriously.

so i'm back to cleaning my room. the flip out set me back... a lot. 

woot. 

tralala

I was over at my aunt's house for the day so I could babysit for her kids while she did stuff. 

I woke up late, which meant the kids could do whatever unsupervised. D:

BUT THEN I redeemed myself by helping Grace paint her nails, helping Robert build a Lego helicopter (btw, Kathleen, I told them about your Sweet 16th idea and they now think I have really cool friends.) and to finish it off, gave them a super nutritious breakfast of waffles and gingerbread house.

I have officially been declared the coolest cousin in the world and the best babysitter. 

It made my life. 

And then I got paid. And that made my life even more.

So now I am trying to clean my room, which isn't going well. I decided to read MLIA and came across this lovely post:

Today, I realized that since switching from an avid FML reader to an avid MLIA reader, my life has seemed a lot less terrible, and a lot more average. Needless to say, I'm pleased with the trade-off. MLIA. 

And that, small children, is why the lovely, pretty and cool babysitter started this blog and stopped reading FML.

And now. The big mission for tomorrow. (dun dun dunnnn)

Tomorrow I will stop using the word "hate." I will instead use phrases like, "dislike greatly," "don't approve of," and "je n'aime pas qu'a tout."

yehaw. 

ayee

I apologize for the drastic lack of updates the past few days. 

You see, I am at my mom's house and I fixed the wireless approximately four minutes ago because I am a genius. And I couldn't blog from my phone.

Anyways, these past few days have been relatively well, aside from the fact that my great-aunt died and there was a big funeral on Saturday.

I got my nails done today which made me really happy. If any of you (If there are any of you.) follow me on twitter (http://twitter.com/emorganxx), you would know how happy it made me. 

I am in the process of unpacking and cleaning and rearranging my room and all this stuff that has to get done before school starts on Thursday and oh! It's a big mess. 

Oh yes. I remember what I was going to blog about today. For the past few days (since I couldn't blog.) I would tell myself things that I like to do and things I am good at. Kind of like my own version of this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHTN4Jvi6lg

It helps a lot when I start to think stuff like, "I'm fat."

So today's little bit of happy is: I am a tech-goddess. I was able to fix a problem Dave, Jill and Agnes at Time Warner Cable couldn't. Hah. 

so hi.

Today was a fairly good day in my process. 

I went shopping and got a ton of goodies, including some hot new vans, which are my new love. I apologize to you, iPhone, but sorry. What can I say?

I had dinner with K and D. That went... better than I thought since it was sushi and I'm not a huge fan of raw... things. The conversation went well, and I didn't make any snafus such as on the way over. We were discussing vaccinations and how K's daughter got that nifty inhale-through-the-nose flu vaccination. Then I brought up how I never got that and I was terrified of needles and so on and so forth. I tried to save it by bringing up how even though I despise shots, I don't mind having my blood drawn. Then the convo went to that. Good save on my part, I think.

Anyways, my big project today was ridding myself of the negative facebook groups like, "I hate Tyler Hansbrough." (I didn't remove myself from "Tyler Hansbrough is a Girl" because like any good Duke fan, I have to dislike him). I just don't want to have that negative energy around me. 

Tomorrow's project? Trying to survive waking up at 7:30 a.m. and flying home to N.C. without accidentally biting someone's head off. (And by "someone," I mean my dad). I would like to go ahead and thank the people at Starbucks, who I'm sure will be fantastic, for dealing with me tomorrow and getting me my skinny vanilla latte. Yum.

oh my lord

This slipped my mind. 

I would really like to thank my friends and family for being so supportive of my unconventional method of blogging away my negativity, especially Anthony who I called last night in tears. 

As I was sitting in my shower, sobbing into the phone, Anthony made me list out things that I am good at, things that I like, and things that make me really happy. That conversation (or really, him listening to me mumble things like, "I can make a chocolate soufflé from scratch wahhhh.") made me realize I have a lot of things going for me and I need to focus on that. 

So I went to bed feeling better about that, and woke up in the middle of the night like, "I need to blog about this."

So thank you Anthony.

Second (or third) post in a day.

So anyways, today was my first day in a while not reading FML. I honestly think that it helped a little bit. 

The reason I decided to blackball it was because I felt like I was always looking for events during my day that were FML worthy, so not reading FML would therefore make me focus on things that are not FML worthy. 

And that is the last time I will mention FML. C'est fini.

In addition to my lounge day with Sloan, I had a tennis lesson which went well despite the fact that I was dead tired. I also had dinner at the club with my family and I taught my uncle this hand game. It gave me great joy that I was infinitely better at it than he was, and then my aunt kicked my butt during a speed round. It was a really fun night.

little by little

So after last night, I stayed in bed with my cats all day and watched Clueless. It was really enjoyable. I think that Clueless was a good movie to watch on my first official day of becoming positive because the main character, Cher, is able to transform herself from a totally clueless narcissistic snob into someone who has great friends and who cares about others. 

I really watched it because it was the only DVD I could find. 

So, I removed the link from FML from my bookmarks bar and moved the app to page 4 on my phone. It wasn't as grand as I imagined it feeling but I think it will make a difference... maybe.